Fugly then, fugly now.
It’s been a busy few weeks, but I was unstoppably moved to post an entry this evening. What, you may ask (I can hear you now, asking) would move you, Dave, to write a post tonight? It was simply the sighting of one of the fugliest cars ever made. The Subaru B9 Tribeca.
First, Tribeca is a lower Manhattan neighborhood. And it’s not even a real name, just a dumb contraction, not even an acronym. I wonder how many soccer moms here on the left coast know that, or even care. It’s a stupid name for an SUV, or any vehicle, for that matter. (And where does the “B9” come from? What the hell?)
Next, the styling on this urban assault vehicle is… well… off-putting. Barf making. One reviewer likened it to “Hannibal-Lecter-in-a-face-mask“. And if you know your automotive history, it’s been done. Almost 50 years ago, Ford made a legendary styling error known as – the Edsel.
Take a look. Both cars, side by side, both butt ugly.
What’s still more hilarious, is that the resemblance doesn’t stop at the grille! Take a look at the rear views of the two vehicles:
Look at both the tail lights, and the shape of the roof line! (The “C-pillar“, for us car nuts.) The only thing that this grotesque Subaru lacks is a two-tone paint job and fender skirts. Dear old H. L. Mencken put his finger right on the nub: “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.”
Ford sold about 110,800 Edsels during 3 years of production. Subaru has apparently sold fewer than 36,000 of their fugly station-wagons-on-steroids since the model’s introduction in mid-2005. Wow. Looks like Subaru is out to prove H. L. Mencken wrong at last. Pity, really. The Tribeca is built in Lafayette, IN by American workers, and we can use all the manufacturing jobs we can get.
I blame management.
UPDATE: July 12, 2007
As I was a’sitting and a’watching the boob toob tonight, I was astonished to see this:
That’s right, campers! You’re looking at the 2008 Tribeca. Finally! They yielded to good taste and lost that stupid Edsel horse-collar grille! The crowning glory was the voice-over in the commercial – “the ALL NEW Tribeca”! Snort. Not even. All new from the front wheels forward, maybe. Tail lights are the same, doors are the same, C pillar is the same… not only does Subaru think we have no aesthetics, they also seem to think we have no eyes and no brains. Lord help us.
Senator McCain, you are an idiot.
Arizonans have something new to be embarrassed about today. Their senator, John McCain, (R-Ariz.) shared his poorly considered thoughts today about the Congressional non-binding resolution against the escalation in Iraq. He claims that “this is a vote of no confidence in both the mission and the troops who are going over there”, because it apparently doesn’t go far enough.
The Arizona senator apparently feels that anyone in Congress who opposes the troop buildup should be willing to “take the action necessary to prevent it”, such as cutting off the money for the troops. Oh, yeah, great idea. Republicans would have a field day with that one. In 2008, they could point fingers at the people who cut funding, and blame them for the failure in Iraq. Instead, let’s place the blame where it really lies, smack in the lap of our Commander in Chief.
With that in mind, I sent an e-mail to the senator. The text of that message is reproduced below.
Senator, you don’t get it. What you call a “vote of no confidence in both the mission and the troops who are going over there” is nothing of the kind.
It is a “vote of no confidence” in the commander in chief, whose mind-meltingly stupid idea it was to send our troops over to Iraq in the first place, on specious grounds. He lied to the American public about WMD, about ties to Al Quaeda, and about the danger posed by Iraq to the United States.
It’s time to end our forced occupation of Iraq, and quit killing Americans and Iraqis over rights to 10% of the world’s crude oil supplies.
Enough with the grandstanding, political posturing, and unthinking support for a chief executive who is clearly out of control. It’s time to rein in George W. Bush, using any means necessary and available under the Constitution of the United States of America. Remember that document? The system of checks and balances it incorporates? Let’s get busy and use them! Quit kissing George Bush’s rosy little bottom, and bring some sanity to Washington DC, or else 2008 will make the 2006 elections look like a tea party.
I hope I made the point, but the reality is that our so-called leaders in Washington D.C. don’t seem to be overly concerned with what We The People think or want. They just go ahead and do whatever they want. I also hope they wise the hell up, before a whole lot more people have to be killed or maimed for the sake of oil.
You can voice your feelings to Senator McCain, too. Click here to go to his e-mail contact web page. Give ‘im hell. He’s got to be used to it by now.
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