I Kind Of Miss Her Already

November 19, 2008 at 1:40 am (Damn funny, Entertainment, General, Media, Politics) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Damn, y’all. It’s only been 2 weeks since the election, and I already sort of miss Sarah Palin. Smokin’ hot MILF, yes, but dumb as a Doug Fir stump. And plainly, I’m not the only American male who gets all “woodsy” thinking about Alaska’s governor…

Oh, Sarah! Sweet, adorable gubernatorial babe! Great tune, eh? Credit goes to Brian Haner, currently touring with Jeff Dunham and Peanut. (Herr Doktor Haner used to play with some pretty cool people, like Frank Zappa. And he’s father to Synyster Gates of Avenged Sevenfold.)

How about some more GILF Goodness?

GILF as in Governor I’d Like To F***… Love me that Craig Ferguson almost as much as Sarah Palin! And she even offered to take Craig “fishin'”. Mmmm, that sexy Alaskan dialect… makes me go all wibbly.

How about one more look at the lovely Governor Palin before we go?

Sigh… dense as block of solid lead, but oh so very boinkable.

We’ll miss you, Sarah! Stay in touch, eh? You betcha!

UPDATE: November 23, 2008

Hey, sugar! How can we miss you when you won’t go away? Just when I thought we were never going to see the delicious Governor Palin ever again, this fascinating video from KTUU / Anchorage appeared on YouTube:

(Warning: scenes of gruesome, brutal, turkey carnage! I mean it! Seriously! Alaskan dude brazenly killing turkeys! And staring vacantly at the camera!)

All well and good for the turkey that was pardoned, but not the best day ever for the turkeys in the background, while this video was being shot. I will refrain from further comment. Many other pundits (or “pun-dints” as the luscious Sarah would say) have made all the good comments already.

However, the universe decided to toy with my wee brain while I was watchin’ the turkey killin’ video. This song – “Vicarious” – by the band Tool popped up on my MP3 player. Be advised – Tool is not for the faint of heart. The imagery in the following video may be unsettling, as might be the lyrics. But if you’re so inclined, you may see the depths of the synchronicity between the two videos. Enjoy… or perhaps simply contemplate.

Advertisements

Permalink Leave a Comment

Wave “Bye-Bye”, John. (You too, Sarah.)

November 5, 2008 at 12:44 am (Damn funny, Die Rat Bastard, General, Politics) (, , , , , , )

goodbye_mccain

Boy, it’s good to see the results of this election. Barack Obama is our President Elect, and the cheering of the crowds at his victory speech was deafening. The report above (screen capture from CNN) filled me with glee.

And the projections are that the Democrats have also gained control of the House and the Senate. I haven’t smiled so much since my divorce was final. And that prompted me to wonder what this election really means for the Republicans. And I think it boils down to this:

Dear Republican Party;

We, the American People, want a divorce.

We’re sick to death of your shit. You spent a whole lot of money we don’t have, and got us into hock up to our eyeballs. Your friends are a whole bunch of self-aggrandizing, unsavory, scandalous bastards who helped you rack up all this debt we can’t pay, and you still want to give them more money? Are you on crack? And when we busted your sorry ass on all your lies, you just kept sticking to your lame story. You think we’re stupid? You think we don’t know you’re lying?

You’ve got until January 20th to pack your crap, and get out. You’re lucky we don’t call the cops and have them throw your lying, evil ass in jail.

Trouble is, the Democrats are just the flip side of the two-party coin. We have to stay on top of them, and make sure they don’t pull the same crap that Dubya pulled. And who did I vote for? Ralph Nader. See, if third parties get a minimum percentage of the popular vote, they can qualify for federal matching funds. This way, instead of piling my vote on top of the Obama landslide, I used it to try and help fund an alternative to the two-party system. Don’t know if it’ll ever work, but I figured it was better than being a “me too”.

Anyhow, I’m still smiling. And Inauguration Day can’t come soon enough for me.

(By the way, I’d still totally do Sarah Palin ’til she squeaks. Just don’t let her run anything outside of Alaska. Hey, I can see Mt. Hood from my house.  Does this mean I’m a qualified mountaineer, skier, and vulcanologist?)

Permalink 1 Comment